When I began writing this blog, it was simply to be able to remember events in the years to come.
A scrapbook of sorts.
Over the years, I have used it as a journal as well....my ramblings from time to time.
I don't fool myself into believing my words go much further than my own little world and I am pleased with that.
But in sharing and remembering the good and fun things, I must also remember and acknowledge the bad.
There is knowledge to discover in the bad.
Not at first and maybe not for a long time, but it is there.
I have been struggling over the past week to write because I know the words that I will come up with can not possibly convey what is in my heart.
But I must try
When I woke on Palm Sunday morning and learned of the 2 church massacres in Egypt, I was heartbroken.
The face of the altar boy who must have woken up that morning with a feeling of pure joy and honor.
The life that his family must now live with
. Later that day, in another corner of the world, and unrelated to Egypt, people I love, respect and call family have had their lives altered forever.
Yesterday, a killer in Fresno shot three innocent men, seemingly because he did not like the color of their skin.
I discovered last night that one of those innocents had been a student and the son of my sister and brother in law's friend.
All of it.
And yet, in the midst of the horror, knowledge begins to emerge.
Knowledge that the churches in Egypt were overflowing on Easter Sunday.
The knowledge that family comes together in times of devastation to hold on to each other and help them stand..
The testimony from friends in the hours following a murder that the victim would have been the first to look to the content of a person and not what was simply visible to the naked eye.
In all of the ugliness, it is easy to feel fear.
It is hard to know what to pray for.
I read the following last week and it has stayed with me.
"Help us know what to think and pray.
Help us know when to stay silent and when to speak and if we speak, help us know what to say."
We don't have to have the proper words...we just need to ask for them.
As I was sitting at the dining room table this morning, attempting to explain another horrific event to my 12 year old, she said that we never know who we will be impact in our life.
As I stared at her, trying to form my thoughts, she said, like teachers and friends.
We decided that each of our lives are like ripples....the decisions we make and the lives we lead touch all of those people in our lives...past and present.
We can not control many of the circumstance in which we are living.
We can't control the actions of others.
What we can do is ask God for the right words.
And as my bother in law said when describing how his friend lived his life...
Just be kind to one another.
Teach our kids to love one another.
Strive to make every day better for others.
Look beyond the surface of a person.
If we do these simple things, the ripples that touch those to come will be better for it.
As will the world they live in.