Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Advice from Mamas

I recently came across a little paperback book called Mommilies by Michele Slung.
It is filled with words of advice that Moms have given their children for generations.
 There were some that sounded familiar.
  Ones that I have uttered at one time or another as well as those that I can almost hear coming from my mother and grandmother's lips.
 So it's raining: You're not sugar - you won't melt.
If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.
The sun doesn't rise and set around you.
Don't put anything wet on the bed.
Don't put any beans up your nose (Or in my case, a chewable vitamin...they foam, FYI)
Always put on clean underwear in the morning in case you are in an accident.
Close the door behind you-were you born in a jail? (I have never heard the jail reference,  we replace that with barn)
When in doubt, write a thank-you note.
 
There are others that I wish I had used.
You can be sure of two things in this world: there is a God and your mother loves you.
Remember the three B's: be careful, be good and be home early.
Oh, so it's the egg teaching the chicken!
 
Image result for chicken and egg
 
 Some advice sounds like fear mongering.
Never be in bed during a thunderstorm.
Never use the plumbing during a thunderstorm.
Sit in the middle of the living room during a thunderstorm.


Never trust a man who wears a metal watchband.  Huh?
Don't lean back in the movies or you'll get ringworm. Ewwwww.......
 
Some sound just plain mean.
You've got a face that only a mother could love.
You'll never be a picture.
You'll never be hung for your beauty.
 
And then there is the advice that left me scratching my head.
Whistling girls and crowing hens always come to some bad end.
Don't wear good underwear to the doctor or your bill will be higher.
Don't be a Philadelphia lawyer. (I wonder why Philadelphia lawyers are worse than the rest?)
Blue and green should never be seen.
Don't  take off your sweaters before May (YIKES)
Throw your shoulders back and you won't feel so cold.
Stick out your chest - here comes the iceman.
Girls who pierce their ears are no better than they should be.
Only sluts wear half-slips.
You have to make your bed in case the house burns.
 
In closing, the best piece of advice I can offer from this book is:
First thing when you wake up in the morning, go to the mirror and smile.
 

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